tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363160316700035584.post9045142443783677281..comments2024-03-13T21:20:22.122-04:00Comments on Creative Writing In The Blackberry Patch: Author's Quotes and EditsJanet,http://www.blogger.com/profile/17796999156668844943noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363160316700035584.post-12955631827404951752009-04-12T17:29:00.000-04:002009-04-12T17:29:00.000-04:00Great advice here! A good rule of thumb is to remo...Great advice here! A good rule of thumb is to remove any form of "to be" whenever possible. So the "was"es have to go!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05113911115248504189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363160316700035584.post-2043122633170119932009-04-11T21:23:00.000-04:002009-04-11T21:23:00.000-04:00Thanks Mary! that sounds good. Don't be afraid to ...Thanks Mary! that sounds good. Don't be afraid to give suggestions. It is logical that it would be humid in the attic, I know, I've been in our before in the summer and I always come out sweating.Janet,https://www.blogger.com/profile/17796999156668844943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363160316700035584.post-74375395035402699222009-04-11T21:13:00.000-04:002009-04-11T21:13:00.000-04:00Janet,Your rewriting has an excellent ring to it a...Janet,<BR/><BR/>Your rewriting has an excellent ring to it and it is all showing. I have only one suggestion:<BR/><BR/><I>OK, The air was hot has got to go.<BR/><BR/>Any suggestions? How about - The hot stagnant air in the attic caused perspiration to drip from Jan's long black hair.</I><BR/><BR/>When you rewrote this you said hot, stagnant, which would give me the impression that the air was dry. Now this might just be me, but I would put something like, "The hot, humid air..." Only a suggestion and it may be just me. <BR/><BR/>Happy Easter, my friend.<BR/>Blessings,<BR/>MaryMaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08175754179624182953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363160316700035584.post-14777500902435727082009-04-11T20:01:00.000-04:002009-04-11T20:01:00.000-04:00You've given some wonderful re-write advice here!T...You've given some wonderful re-write advice here!<BR/><BR/>Thanks!<BR/><BR/>I'm collecting all I can get :-)<BR/><BR/>Also - LOVE the quotes.Lauriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10904438929723833427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363160316700035584.post-58473615190817750682009-04-11T18:25:00.000-04:002009-04-11T18:25:00.000-04:00This is a powerful little post! I think since most...This is a powerful little post! I think since most of us have so many intrusions into our writing time (real life?) we get in a hurry. When we stop and imagine what the sun feels or how the battering of rain on a tin roof reverberates in our body, it's easier to describe. Thanks for the reminders.<BR/><BR/>Marcia Calhoun Forecki<BR/>Better Than Magic<BR/>www.eloquentbooks.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com